The Diagnosis

She was a fighting fit forty-nine when she had to have a hysterectomy. Hysterectomy cannot be considered an illness. Like menarche and menopause, it has become an accepted happening. Not so much now as it was in the eighties and nineties. The year was 1983 and the operation was scheduled for the month of May. The best gynaecologist in the City was consulted and he, assisted by a close family friend was to operate on her. The patient was not the bravest of women, but what helped was her implicit faith in the medical profession. She belonged to that category of humans who believed that a doctor can never go wrong.

The surgery went off without a hitch, however, there were a few post-operative glitches that had to be looked into. Once all of that settled down and her life became near normal and she started moving around, the family began to take note that her left hand was involuntarily held in a different way. Soon she started to complain of pain in her hand. A visit to the family physician demanded that she see a specialist. Again, the best in the specialty was chosen for a consultation. When the regular medication did not give any result, the said specialist asked for an injection which was then not available in India. The same had to be imported from Singapore and a full course was injected. The pain remained, but that did not deter her from her routine. Her girls had grown, one had left the nest, one was soon to become a medical professional and the third was doing her under graduation. But then she had taken the responsibility of her nephew who was then in middle school. She continued to run the kitchen with utmost efficiency. In the meantime, a full-time help was employed to ease the workload from her. Days progressed and 1984 dawned. The hand pain persisted and along with it on close examination there seemed to be a slight difference in her gait. We couldn’t find a reason and just assumed that the nerves were weakening. She was just fifty. By the end of 1984, there was a slight tremor in the left hand, it didn’t go unnoticed, and a neurologist was consulted. A course of Neurobion injection was prescribed and the same was taken.

1985, was a year of excitement, she was moving to a new house and was busy getting things done for the house. In fact, she was so involved in the construction and doing of the interiors of the house that all her ailments took a back seat. There was no one who could beat her when it came to dedication and hard work. She was indeed the epitome of beauty and intelligence among other fabulous qualities. The excitement of moving into the new house really worked as an antidote to her prevailing health conditions. In 1985, her youngest had finished college and her nephew was in high school. The live-in help was God sent. She had time on her hands and would indulge in watching television and movies. The physical conditions took a back seat and life seemed good to her.

In 1986, she made a trip to Kerala to be with her mother-in-law who was ailing. While there, her cousin brother seeing her mild but persistent health conditions, took her for a consultation with a physician of high repute. When the diagnosis was made on just examination and the same was conveyed to the family by phone, it did not mean anything. Nobody had ever heard of the condition and there was no Google/Wikipedia to enlighten. Even doctors in other specialties could not give a picture. Although the right diagnosis was made, it did not have any relevance to the patient or her kith and kin.

A medicine was prescribed and the same was not available in Kerala. On coming to Madras, it was available only at Narayanappah Pharmacy (a pharmacy that has a wide stock of imported medicines). Thus began her tryst with tablet Sinemet (a combination of carbidopa and levodopa). Yes, she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, a brain disorder that causes unintended or uncontrollable movements, such as shaking, stiffness, and difficulty with balance and coordination.

Did the diagnosis set in any alarms? Definitely not. As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss.

As the years progressed, life moved on for her with the help of Tablet Sinemet. It helped that one of the daughters was able to source the same for her from abroad. The end of the eighties saw the marriage of her second daughter. She actively participated in the same, planning and executing the wedding. The early nineties saw the wedding of her third daughter. By then there was a marked deterioration in her health, however, she stood her ground. With the three girls having left India and her nephew moving out after completion of his college, it was just her, her husband, and the faithful help from 1983. The girls were not informed of every setback as the husband being strong mentally and physically took it all on himself. Her health followed a definite pattern. It would move in a plateau and then suddenly take a deep dive for the worst. Apart from the physical disabilities which were visible, her mental faculty was deteriorating at an even faster pace. Hallucinations were the norm and incoherent conversations were common. Her near and dear ones, although they loved and cared for her immensely, found this very hard to comprehend. There was no education/support available to the caregivers. Although it bothered the caregivers, there was nothing much that they could do.

Towards the beginning of the new century, when everything was Y2K, there was an intelligent lady who had lost out on everything. Since her agitation was mostly limited to her physical inabilities, really wonder how she coped internally. Did she miss her reading, did she miss her intelligent conversation, or even her ability to converse, did she miss her morning and evening prayers, did she miss going to the temples, did she miss meeting with her friends, did she miss writing in her beautiful handwriting, did she miss her passion for cooking, did she know of her family’s love, did she miss her occasional visits to the cinema hall, did she miss the way she called her husband, did she miss her love for the flora, did she miss the world around??

The diagnosis which did not have the desired gravity when it was announced, surely rang the death knell for her family as the years progressed. Wonder how her mind worked!! Without uttering a word for over six months, she breathed her last on March 5^th 2005 at the age of seventy-one. It was then just over twenty years since she had had the condition and less than that since she was diagnosed. When in 1989, a doctor mentioned to the family that the physical condition and the mental faculty of the patient would be beyond belief, nobody gauged the extent.

Its eighteen years since the loss, and still hard to cope. She was my dear Amma.