A Joyful Duty

I am tired. Yes, I am tired; tired of doing all the things I enjoy doing. This statement in itself seems so contradictory and almost impossible. People may want to know as to what I did that has made me so tired. Well, I did the following, I chatted up with innumerable number of people, went around the city doing things I love to do, dressed far too many times in whatever finery I possess and finally dined and feasted to my heart’s content. Perfectly pleasant tasks which I enjoy utmost and hence should never ever complain. However when they come in overdose, it definitely makes one tired. The reason for this overdose which just concluded last night was the wedding of my good friend’s daughter. My involvement began right from the word go which was about 15 months ago and lasted till the very last dinner connected with the marriage which happened last night. I know for sure the celebration as far as this wedding goes is over for the boy and girl are now air borne and by the time they come back, they will no more be the newly married couple.
I have heard of the Big Indian Weddings; however t his was the first time that I was closely connected to one. Much as we claim to be modern and our generation even boasts of doing away with stereotyping, one thing that has not changed is the urge of the parents to see their little girls married. The marriage age may have pushed upwards from the 18-20 years bracket to the 23-25 year bracket, but nevertheless it is very much there and the concept is as strong as what it was from time immemorial. I have seen mothers whose daughters have crossed the imaginary 25 years deadline remain remorse and depressed. I don’t blame them a wee bit for I am sure I would be in the same boat when my time comes. Thus my friend had started the spade work a couple of years ago and by God’s grace she could find the suitable boy for her daughter before the imaginary deadline loomed large. It must be said that her daughter who was well placed in a career outside India was willing to relocate when made to understand the importance of matrimony. There is nothing that the children of today are unaware off and the fact that she did lend an ear to her parents advise in itself calls for a celebration. It could also be that the boy had swept her off her feet and thus made her want to spend the rest of her life with him. I doubt very much as to any sweeping happening, for one thing that I have realized about modern day marriages is that there is no room for unnecessary ROMANCE. There may be plenty of courtship, but as far as romance and chivalry goes, it takes a big backseat.” He came, he saw and he conquered” kind of marriages seem to totally be a thing of the past. Girls these days are so practical and know exactly how they want their lives to be. So if they agree for a marriage, they make sure that at least 75% of what they have in mind is met in the groom.
Thus the wedding was fixed and the planning began. My friend is a great planner and an even greater executor. Since she had a 15 month period to go about her meticulous execution, I must say that she made full use of the time and as a result did a wonderful job of it. The first thing on her itinerary was to fix the marriage hall, for if getting a groom is a difficult proposition, getting a good wedding hall in Chennai is something even more difficult. With the hall in hand she began going around looking for caterers, the back drop, the marriage card, the never ending guest list and so many nitty gritty things of which I was not aware. Slowly the silver was purchased and then the gold and then the give away saris and other mementos to go with the wedding card. Trips were made to “TOWN’ (areas in and around Parry’s Corner is still referred thus) to procure things in bulk. I was amazed at all the happenings for I had not witnessed anything thus in close quarter. In my community weddings are a simple 10 minute affair which does not call for anything so elaborate. The only weddings I was involved were that of my sisters and since my parents were still in the midst of things, they took care of all the arrangements. My job was to take part in the shopping which was nominal and the invitation distribution. Thus I would keep asking her as to why she was in a hurry to get so many things done and she would say, well you don’t know as to how much of a rush there would be at the last minute.
How true her words turned out to be. Prior to the wedding there were four functions (in total six) and then the big wedding which was attended by about 1800 people. Venues had to be decided for the smaller functions and caterers had to be arranged, invitations had to be distributed and so on and so forth. My physical presence in all these activities were minimal however I was kept in the know how during our daily phone calls. Most of you may not be aware that my friend and I go back a long way. We have known each other for more than four decades. We meet at least once a week and talk to each other for a minimum period of thirty minutes daily. I was indeed proud of my friend when on the day before the first function when the silver and other things had to kept in the respective trunks, she had them all ready. She had also designated specific jobs to the close circle of relatives and friends and thus had covered all avenues. There was absolutely no confusion on the day of the marriage; everybody went about the work they were entrusted with. The whole ceremony went off so beautifully and I really wonder even if the presence of a much hyped wedding planner would have brought about so much of efficiency.
Now I realize the meaning of the age old saying which goes thus, “Try building a house, try getting your daughter married”. I have in a decent manner finished the first task. I think age was with me for it happened 27 years ago. It almost seems like child’s play when compared to the second one. I truly wonder as to how I will go about orchestrating so many people and before things reach that stage, I wonder as to how I will convince my little one of the importance of matrimony or of having found the perfect match. I still have at least a decade to go and in the meantime let me get tutored from my friend a second time around for she is planning to have her son’s marriage in a year’s time.
I will leave her in peace for a couple of days for I am certain that she needs that rest to pull herself together for a repeat performance.