Friday, September 25, 2009

Celebrating A Life

The moment we hear the word death, our minds are conjured up with thoughts of bereavement, sadness and grief. However when a person has led a full life and he or she dies of old age, then the grief becomes momentous and what replaces this grief is a cheerful journey down the well travelled road of the deceased. There is no doubt that the person will be missed, however to me it is a time to recollect and remember the milestones and immortal moments of the mortal being and thus indirectly celebrate that life. It is also the time to offer our thanksgiving both to the almighty for bringing into our lives the said person and also to the mortal soul for being a part of our lives and for all the positive energy he radiated during his tenure on Earth.
I just returned from Kerala after a condolence visit. The person who died was my good friend Sarah’s father – Rtd. Lt. Cdr. W. C. John. He was 86 years old and had led a full life on his very own terms. Much as I wanted to attend his funeral, I was unable to do so. However having seen him twice earlier this year, I had good memories of him and thus thought it not necessary to see the mortal remains before the burial. Another reason why I delayed my visit was because I wanted to spend the time with the family and wanted to reminisce on the wonderful life that Uncle John had led and this would not have been possible had I gone in the midst of the funeral.
I spent two whole days with Aunty, Sarah and her brother Roy. It seemed like the old days when we were children/young adults with no families of our own and no care in the world. I was taken back in time to the late 60’s when I first came to know the family. Sarah joined our school in the 4th standard and instantaneously we became friends. It did not take long before our friendship spread to the families and thus we became family friends. Living in the vicinity our families saw a lot of each other and this strengthened the bond. I vividly remember Uncle in his white naval uniform, so crisp and starched and as to how dashing he looked driving his white Herald car. Unlike the other cars of that period the Herald had a style of its own. I remember Uncle taking us to see the only aircraft carrier of the Indian Naval Fleet, the INS Vikrant. He also took us to see an American war ship and even now I remember the jelly I ate from there. These visits were lessons which no text book ever taught. It meant a lot to a young girl. Uncle almost seemed like a hero.
Indeed he was a true hero having joined the Imperial Navy at a tender age of 16 as a young sailor with absolutely no clue as to what the world offered. Having come from a village in Kerala, he had not seen the outside world. His grit and determination saw him rise quickly and it was not long before he was sent to England for training. He was a self made man who came up the hard and tough way. His penchant for punctuality and perfection was very well known and it really needed guts to face him for a delayed appointment. I have had the joy of staying with the family when Uncle was posted in Cochin and was witness to one of the official parties he hosted in his residence. I won’t be wrong if I say that I have never ever seen brass more polished nor have I seen cutlery more shining and glasses more sparkling. The house was immaculate and the whole event was planned and executed like the preparation for battle. What I mean to say is that every tiny detail was taken into account and no leaf was left unturned. I had never seen anything like this before and I was truly impressed. I won’t be wrong if I say that that party kind of set a standard in my mind. Although I have not been able to maintain the high levels I saw that day, I do try and see that I put up an overall good presentation when I invite guests to the house.
Uncle followed the benchmark he had set for himself all through his life. He tried his best to impart to those who came to his life the importance of godliness, kindness, love, affection and all the virtues with which he was bestowed. His last official posting was as a NCC commandant and this post saw him in his elements as he could mould the lives of the young boys and girls who joined the Corps. With his son employed and daughter married, it seemed to him that the right thing to do was to get back to his roots and this saw him settle down in Malappally in Pathannamthitta District of Kerala. He had his aged parents to look after and he did everything in his means to make their old age comfortable. To him being of help to others was topmost in his priorities and this was a quality he wanted to imbibe in those around him. Thus he was instrumental in starting the Rotary Club of Malappally.
He fought every illness that came his way and did not slow down until it was absolutely beyond his control. He had had three heart attacks and in the year 2000 was diagnosed with malignancy of the colon and had to undergo a colostomy. The doctors had given him only a few months or maximum a couple of years to live, but he lived and lived well for over nine years. Uncle believed that life was a gift from the Almighty and he did whatever it took to relish and enjoy it. The heart which became weak having suffered three attacks, had to pull itself together to keep pace with the dynamic body in which it was housed. In Uncle’s scheme of things, there was no question of it giving way. Thus all his illnesses had to give way to the mighty juggernaut that he was.
The two times I met him this year, was once in March when he came to Chennai for his younger brother’s funeral. Although his body was weak, and he was in not in the best of health, he had insisted being there for the funeral, for his brother being much younger than him was almost like his eldest son. I am happy that I could be of help to him as he stayed with me for three days. I knew then that the light within him was slowly fading and that he was moving to the twilight zone. I was blessed to see him once more in April when I went to Hyderabad to attend his grand daughter’s marriage. No other human being with the prevalent health condition would have dared that journey, but not Uncle John, who was so definite about being there. As a memento of that happy occasion, he gifted me with a silk sari, a gift that I will treasure for the rest of my life.
There is much more than that sari for me to treasure. His life was astounding and a role model for all to emulate. His life was one which truly calls for a celebration. Thus it was in that celebrating mood that I spent the two days with the family. We did everything that would have made Uncle happy. As much as we prayed for his soul, we also toasted his life. This is something not possible in most cases. But then this is Uncle John’s life and it had to definitely be different.
Long live Uncle John!!!

1 comment:

  1. A handsome tribute to a dynamic and lovable uncle.
    May his soul rest in peace.

    ReplyDelete